I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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