ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This beer is not sobering me up at all
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
