he shaved USA in his pubs
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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