your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
