i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
