I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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