You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
