They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
