ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
