Dual....:-)
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
