Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize