Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
