Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
