my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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