it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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