She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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