nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
