some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
