32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
