we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
