i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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