Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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