I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize