you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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