In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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