Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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