Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize