Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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