I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize