why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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