i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
