At least make sure they are 18
Why
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
