worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
