You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
