Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
