It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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