I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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