yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
