I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
