Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
