you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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