More tranny stories later!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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