If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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