I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
