Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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