If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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