I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His nipple licking is glorious
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