Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
