This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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