I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
