Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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