Just took my morning after pill in the library
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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