My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
