scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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