Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
