it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize