are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
