Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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