My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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